Stronger
by I Slay Darkness With Belief
Summary: Always be kinder than necessary, because everyone you meet is fighting some sort of battle. Super-angst, full summary and warnings inside.


**Hiya! It's Bubbles here, and I have a very... intense one-shot. This could possibly be a tear-jerker, because it definitely was for me at points. There's some humor in there to relieve from all of the... sad in here. It's not to "make fun" of the issue, or anything, it's purely for comic relief okay? I needed it while writing, and I'm sure some of you would need it to read.**

**This is mainly based on true events that I've been experiencing. I'm sorry if there are some details that are off, I tried to do my research well enough to write an accurate story. My heart goes out to anyone who has experienced cancer, or have had a family member or friend who went through it. I know how it feels, and I commend you for being brave. **

**I'd really like you guys to read it- if you're in the mood for a touching story, or maybe even not. It's mainly angst, and if you get upset at some point where you couldn't continue, I understand. I'd like you to try and tell me how I did, even though it's a touchy topic for a lot of people. It took a lot of strength for me to write this, and I'd like to know what you think anyway.**

**This is not a romantic story. It is purely friendship all over. There are some mentions of Fabina and Mickra and _whatever_, but it's really not the point of the story. It's fair to say that at _least_ 97% of the stories on here are about romance, and this isn't one of them. This story is about the stres_s_ among other issues that I _know_ can occur in real life by the cause of what it's about- speaking from personal experience. Anyway, a lot of this may seem like it would be "Amber and Jerome romance" when mainly it's just their friendship through the whole ordeal. Actually, everyone's friendship. There just happens to be certain areas where the main focus is Amber and Jerome friendship. But it's strictly friendship.**

**Also, warning, if you haven't noticed, it's quite long. So if you take the time to read it (please) then pretty pretty pretty please review. =)**

**Last thing, I PROMISE: This is dedicated to Allyouneedislove1797, MiaAndOak, Whispering Memories, my mom, other cancer survivors and their friends and family.**

**Disclaimer: I really don't own anything, even though I wish I did... You know what? Somebody owns it- but it's not me. =)**

**"Be kinder than necessary, because everyone you meet is going through some sort of battle"**

* * *

><p>Amber's POV:<p>

I was sitting in class, staring at the back of Mick's head. He always sat with back-stabbing Mara, now. It was revolting. I _would_ sit with Nina, but she's with Fabian. They've been lovey-dovey ever since prom. Alfie and Jerome sat with each other. Joy and Patricia sat with each other. Where was I supposed to sit?

I'll answer that: alone.

School and living at the house has been nothing but dreadful since we got back from Spring Break. We'd all gone distant from eachother. There was no Sibuna mystery to play around with. We were all just... separated from eachother. The little... Fabina world. The little Mickra world. The little Joytricia world, and the little Altrome world. Everyone was put into pairs, like before Nina came.

Only difference?

I wasn't part of any of these worlds.

I was excluded from Mick, because he's with Mara now. I was excluded from Nina. My _Best American Friend,_ because she's with Fabian now. I'm excluded from Alfie, because Jerome is always upset over Mara and Mick. I can't hang out with Patricia or Joy, because Joy is always being smuggled from class to class by Patricia, so nobody gets to touch either of the two.

Okay, not _literally_, but close to it.

I'm the odd one out!

I'm _Amber Millington!_ I shouldn't be alone! I shouldn't be sitting alone at a table while Mr. Winkler talks about who-knows-what! I shouldn't be home in the commons while everyone else is together. Last night, I had to do homework. Next week's homework. I was _that _bored.

The other night I had to hang out with Trudy. I mean, I love Trudy. With all my heart. But sometimes, I need a friend my age. Trudy can try to understand and think way back when she was a little girl like me, but it's not easy. I tried to vent to her, but she was uncharacteristically spacey. I mean, I'm usually the spacey one!

Poor little thing. All alone all the time. Working around the house all day with nobody to talk to except for Victor. She actually went to the doctor today. She told us that it was just a check-up this morning. I know it was directed to me, though. I'm the only one who's given her the time of day since Spring Break. I'm probably the only one who listened. Except perhaps Jerome and Alfie, but they were stuffing their faces as usual.

I mean, Jerome almost always listens to Trudy. She's like his mother. He just loves food almost as much as Mick.

And that's saying something.

_Wait, what was I just thinking about_? "Attention Anubis house." I looked up from my various doodles and "notes" to see Mr. Sweet at the front of the class. The scowl on his face was more pronounced while he spoke, clutching a few white slips of paper. He hadn't been exactly _happy_ with Anubis house since the whole "not living forever" thing. He'd actually been kind of getting us in trouble every chance he got. "Trudy phoned. She has a little emergency situation that she wants to discuss with all of you. She sounded a tad muddled over the phone, so I suggest going quickly." He slammed the papers on Mr. Winkler's desk before leaving with a glare.

I gasped, running to the stack of paper. I grabbed one and ran out of there. With every step I took, another ounce of worry poured on my shoulders. As I stomped out, I couldn't help but notice the disappointing lack of enthusiastic concern, that _should have_ been just _radiating_ from my house-mates. I stood at the door for a moment to glare at my friends. As I left I noticed that Jerome had his ear-buds in (Mr. Winkler had been very lenient lately when it came to rules and everything. He'd mentioned that we should "just live life".), and didn't hear a word. Alfie pulled one bud out, whispering something to him.

In a moment, Jerome's eyes widened and he hopped out of his chair and over his desk, not taking the extra few steps to go around it. He didn't bother grabbing a slip, but rushed towards me. We were outside the school now, and it was only a matter of five minutes or so before I would arrive at the house.

While I walked towards Anubis, I thought about what could _possibly_ be wrong. _If Trudy was upset, and there was an emergency situation, could it be our parents? Like Alfie's parents? Or my daddy? But no, she wouldn't call us **all** down out of school in the middle of the day... Was there something wrong with Victor? Was he retiring? No... she could wait to tell us about that... Would **she** be sick...? Could Trudy be sick? Like... very ill...?_

I shook the mental image from my train of thought, begging myself to drop the subject. I took a breath and stepped onward. I felt Jerome push past me hastily, obviously as worrisome as I was. As he did so my knees locked, preventing me from moving onward.

I tear fell down my cheek, "Jerome?" He turned around, frustrated. There was a scowl upon his lips until his eyes met mine. His look dropped into one of pure concern, and I reached my arm out before dropping it. "What- what if... what if Trudy fell ill...? What if she's _re- real- really_ sick, Jerome?" I was choking on sobs now, trying to squeak through them. "Trudy is like the mother that neither of us had! What if- what if she's not okay? What if she doesn't get better?"

I'm sure that my face was red and that there was mascara running down, but for once in my life: I couldn't care less.

I just kept the tears streaming down, searing on the boiling pavement below my feet. Jerome looked down at his own feet before advancing towards me. Without a word, he set his hand on my back. It was softly in between my shoulder-blades; comforting but not too uncharacteristically nice of Jerome. He was faced forward, his icy eyes glaring at the house like there was something evil in there.

Behind my wall of tears I couldn't see too much. I could make out large shapes and colors coming closer, but not too much. For a moment, I thought that my tears had dissolved my contacts, but that's not what it was: It was the tears.

And the freaky thing? I had no concrete information that could make my cry like this. Maybe, after my hard week, I needed a good cry. Or maybe, just maybe, I was some sort of psychic, or had some telepathic connection to Trudy. I'm thinking it's both...

After what seemed like a blink of my eyes, we were at the front steps of Anubis. Jerome's hand never left my back, and not a word was passed between us until the door opened. Victor was looking as tired and annoyed as ever. As soon as the door creaked open, Jerome's hand fell, reaching for the screen. I groaned a little, feeling unsupported and alone. Victor eyed us inconspicuously, like he wasn't at all interested.

Victor sighed, sounding almost as bad as he looked, "Come in. I presume Mr. Sweet told you about Trudy..." _What about Trudy?_ "Do not disturb her. You may sit with her, hug her, or whatever it is that you kids do, but do not jump on her. She's been in hysterics." He pointed towards the commons, where I saw a black clump of hair on top of a chair. Disregarding Victor's uncharacteristically nice and reasonable wishes (that didn't seem too reasonable at this point), I ran to the chair, jumping right next to Trudy, burying my nose in her neck.

A few sobs rocked my body, but I shook them off, sitting up to sniffle. Trudy's face was blotchy and red- but heck, so was mine. She started tearing for what I expected wasn't the first time, exactly. I laid back down onto her shoulder, feeling her warm hand stroke my back.

_This isn't Trudy. Trudy is lively and happy, and making us lively and happy! She'd never cry like this unless- something really **is** really wrong..._

I choked a bit more, expecting to hyperventilate. If I hyperventilated, maybe I wouldn't have to hear the horrible news, and then it would disappear, and everyone got better again. I did realize that it was a bit of wishful thinking, but who cared?

I didn't.

Jerome glared at us, but mostly at Trudy. "What is wrong, Trudy? I'm beginning to get a little afraid of this. And I don't _do_ fear. I just _don't. _You're killing me here! I'm really sorry. I need you to tell us what's wrong! Even if it _is_ just Amber and I!" Jerome's face was turning so white that I could nearly see through it.

Trudy sniffled, shaking my head from her shoulder and wiping a tear from my cheek, "No, no, I have to wait for the others to come back from school. Please dearies?" I nodded slowly, sniffling some more. I understood what she wanted, but at the same time I was dreadfully anxious. Jerome groaned, clenching his fists and nodding a fragment of an inch but not moving otherwise.

As if on cue, Alfie fretted inside, upset. Behind him, Fabian walked in casually with his arm draped around Nina's shoulders. Normally, I would've "awe"'d or something like that. But they've been acting like that for a few weeks, and it was getting a bit old. I also wasn't exactly in the _best _mood. Behind the Fabian and Nina couple was the rest of the house. Noticing our facial expressions, they sat down with their eyes popping from their sockets.

All around us were my friends, but seeing them didn't make me the slightest bit happier. It made me feel worse, actually. Having the weight of suspense hanging above our heads.

Everyone was seated now except for Victor behind us, and Jerome, who still stood facing Trudy and I. The others were still shocked but still in their own worlds. Didn't they even _understand_ what was going on? Trudy is sick, and all they cared about was themselves. I can't believe that _I'm s_upposed to be the dumb air-head. I can't even _believe _it.

_I'm sorry for being selfish lately. I'm sorry for not going out with Alfie after prom. I'm sorry for being mean and inconsiderate to Alfie **before** prom. I'm sorry for not paying my credit-card bills. I'm sorry. I'm just really sorry. All I've cared about since break was myself. I don't want her to be sick. I don't want her to be injured. All I want is for Trudy to be happy and healthy. I just want her to be well again. I can't stand this!_

I was about to speak up, but Jerome shouted above me: "Trudy! What the heck is wrong!" I was surprised- he would have swore of he hadn't cared this much. Trudy hated curses. "You're scaring me, here! And, not to mention Amber, who hasn't stopped crying since we left the school doors!" He took a deep breath to calm down. He looked at both of us and silently croaked from his position, "Please Trudy. Please."

I felt Trudy take another shaky breath. We were both a but frazzled over Jerome's outburst. He even caught the attention of the rest of Anubis. They were all beginning to worry as if a ton of bricks had been dropped on their heads. "Okay... I love all of you guys- Jerome, Amber, Alfie, Mara, Mick, Fabian, Nina, Joy and Patricia. Each and every one of you. I love you guys so much. I need you guys to know that, okay?" A few tears trickled down my face, catching the corner of my lip. It began to tremble and I stuck my face in my hands again.

_Of course she loves us. We all know that. It just worries me so much when she says it **that way**..._

"Was it something the doctor said?" I asked, needing to know the answer to that before she would try to tell us anything.

The others looked shocked. In an instant, the room was filled with an assortment of: "You went to the hospital?" "Are you sick?" "Will you be okay?" "What did the doctor say?" "Why'd you go to the hospital?" and "When were you going to tell us about this?"

The last question was from Mick, of course. I scowled at his idiotic pea-brain. I couldn't stand it when people asked dumb questions like that when they should've known the answer. Well, I do the same thing, but this was important. "She told us this morning. At breakfast. When you and Mara were snogging." I spat at him, on the verge of more tears. I couldn't stand what made them so selfish. Did they all get brain-washed over vacation?_ Oh, please no. There has been enough of that **before** break._

Mick just looked down at his hands, mumbling a "sorry" under his breath that I could barely hear.

"Yes, it has to do with what the doctor said." She took another deep breath along with me. She closed her eyes for a moment, clearing her mind. I desperately wanted to know what was wrong with her. I could just burst into little Amber-pieces. I took in another breath unsuccessfully. The shudders of my chest and my tear-clogged lungs were too much to handle. I just sat, listening to the pounding of my head and waited until Trudy gained the courage to speak again.

That time didn't come too quickly. Alfie was across the room from us, sitting on the arm-rest of that chair that Mick and Mara and Fabian and Nina were sitting at. He was hanging off the edge of his seat. His eyes were red-rimmed, and his hand was clasped over his mouth to prevent from speaking. _Or maybe crying..._

Now that I looked around, most of the girls (and Mick) were crying. Whether it be silent tears streaming, or the actress-style water-works. Patricia and Joy were just red in the face, holding each other for support. Fabian was holding Nina- who was shaking on his shoulder. Mara was looking up at us, clutching Mick's hand for dear-life. Both Mick and Mara were quietly tearing-up, trying to act strong for the rest of the group.

"Trudy... please please _please_ tell us. Please." Alfie unlatched his hand from his mouth for a moment to reluctantly speak up. The whole house's eyes were on him now, and with all of the teary-eyes, he wasn't enjoying it too well. Nina was shooting a death-glare to him, momentarily looking up from Fabian's shoulder. I knew she never actually was the _best _of friends with Alfie, but she could at least give him enough respect not to look at him like she hated him.

"Alfie!" Nina whisper-shouted from Fabian's lap. "She'll tell us when she's ready! Be a little mature and wait!"

"I am just _worried_! I am so worried that I can't even stand it!" Alfie whispered back with less haste than Nina's angry shout.

"We all are! Doesn't mean you have to keep asking her every five seconds!" Neens looked clearly upset, but frustrated and red in her face.

"Hush up all of you! This is _not_ the time to be yelling at each other. Stop being obnoxious little monsters." Victor stated plainly. _Well, there went his patience- down the drain._

We all quieted. I sat, twiddling my thumbs until Trudy sighed and shuffled a bit in her seat. The silence in the room was cut into little bits at the sound of the movement. Her moving wouldn't have usually stirred up quite the same reaction if we had been in a test or something of less importance. It scared me how much this was effecting me, and we don't even know what's wrong.

"You all know that I went to the doctor's office over the weekend?" Trudy asked quietly. _Of course **I** did, it was five days ago. I don't know about anybody else... _I nodded at the same time as Jerome, Alfie, Mara, Nina and Fabian did. I was shocked that they had all noticed. The others fessed up and shook their heads, disappointed in themselves. "Well... I... I had a test done."

I flinched, "Like, a test with needles...?" _I **hate** needles._

Trudy laughed halfheartedly. "Oh no, dearie. No, I was doing my yearly mammogram. That's a... required test for women that takes pictures that can detect for diseases-"

"Diseases like what?" I asked curious to a point where I would question everything in sight to get my answer.

"Well... honey... not really diseases, but more like... cancer..." Trudy whispered, getting through the sentence as fast as she could.

But we could all hear her.

She said cancer.

_Cancer._

My heart dropped. My heart dropped all the way to Japan because she just said what I think she said.

She said _cancer._

I took a shaky breath, looking around the room again. Jerome was transparent at this point. He squeezed his jaw so hard I swear I could hear teeth snap in two. Alfie and those on the couch weren't even looking anymore; their eyes were glazed over with tears.

I looked up to Victor- if anyone was still sane, it would be him. If anyone was calm it would be him. Too bad when I looked at him there was a glistening drop hanging to one of the hairs in his beard.

That's when I lost it.

The pain above my eyes would soon be released. My daddy used to call that pain "the hiding place for tears". When you don't want to cry, all of your tears hide on top of your eyebrows and give you a really bad headache. All of the tears in the hiding place escaped. I wasn't even looking at anything anymore. I wasn't happy or hopeful anymore.

I was done not crying.

I was done being strong for now.

I just let the water run from my eyes, soaking up my vision, sticking to my cheeks and daring to enter my mouth.

Because she said it. The "C" word.

She didn't say that it was what she had, but we weren't dumb. Not even me. We all knew what happened. Whether or not we had the whole story, we could put the pieces together. We saw the not-so-pretty picture that the pieces would make, even though we lost one or two.

"Dearies, please don't cry. Please, I hate it when you cry." Trudy's strangled words only made me want to cry some more. And so I did, doubling over the couch arm-rest. I wiped my eyes with my arms, trying to gain composure. Who was I kidding, though? I wasn't the only one crying. _Victor _was crying, _Jerome_ was crying, _everyone _was crying.

"Please... Victor, will you... please?" I heard Trudy ask. If my eyes were working, I would have seen Victor nod his head quickly. Just because it seemed like the situation called for it.

"Anubis house. Trudy would like to continue." I nodded, covering my eyes with both hands. As the tears flowed from my eyes like Niagara, I quieted my sobs so I could hear Trudy continue.

"Thank you... Sweeties, over the weekend when I got the mammogram, they found something- but didn't know what. Today, I went to the doctor with my niece Kalista, and we talked to the woman for a while. She showed me the pictures that the mammogram took. They found three little... lumps. Now, they didn't know what the lumps were, but they have to do tests for it sometime this week. It's going to be really tough, and weird around here for a while... okay? I just needed to keep you guys in the loop." Trudy spoke with such confidence that I could only admire- nothing more, nothing less. Trudy was one of the strongest people I've ever met.

I sniffled, looking at her with a little smile. I couldn't do any better, but I was trying. I wanted her to be as happy as she could be.

I looked at my friends around me. Patricia and Joy were trying to smile through red faces. Everyone else was calming down from tear-jerking. When my eyes landed on Jerome, I was shocked. His nostrils were flaring and he was just standing there. He just stood there, rocking back on his heels. His face was still white and hard-looking as stone, but there were reluctant tears streaming down. His eyes darted across the room, never landing in one spot.

"We love you, Trudy." Mick spoke up quietly, rubbing Mara's shoulder quietly. I just looked at him. The whole couch nodded. Over at Trixie's loveseat, she was nodding too. Jerome walked up to Victor, giving him a _quick_ hug. His arms dropped carelessly by his side before he went up to Trudy to do the same thing.

He wrapped his arms around her for a moment but held on for a while, sniffling into her shoulder. He stood up, wiping his face off. He looked much better, actually. Instead of his face being paler than paper, his face was tinted more red. He just walked off in the direction of his room.

"That will be all. I presume none of you want to attend the rest of the school day, correct?" Victor asked after watching Jerome exit. The whole house shook their heads. "Very well then. Stay home. Just don't even think about bothering me." With that, Victor stalked off.

I stood up, dusting myself off before realizing that I didn't even _care_ what I looked like. I smiled at Trudy and walked in the direction Jerome went.

I walked into his room cautiously. I wasn't particularly sure what I expected to find in there, but it wasn't what I had actually found.

Jerome was on his bed, music in his ears so loud that I could hear them from where I stood across the room. I didn't know the actual song, or who sang it, but it was loud, and screamy, and had a lot of electric guitar and drums. But that was all I could be sure of. He had a piece of red construction paper in one hand, and scissors in his right. In front of him on his bed was a short stack of red construction paper.

I walked up next to him, and until I cast a shadow on whatever it was that he was doing, he failed to notice me. I looked at his hands that snipped away at the paper confusedly. He looked up from his work of art, frustrated. He hadn't been expecting anyone to come by. Not a lot of people went in his room when he's upset. He just blandly stared at me until I spoke.

"What are you doing Jerome...?" I asked innocently. My voice was still hoarse and my throat was still swollen. My words came out scratchy and forced. It started to hurt, so I decided not to talk for a while.

Jerome still looked up at me. He didn't move for the longest time, but still stared. I sat down on his well-made bed, not making a peep. He stood up, reaching over his wardrobe and coming back with a small white board and an Expo marker. He started to scribble and handed me the board.

**I'm cutting paper, what does it look like I'm doing?**

I just looked at him for a moment. I looked back at the board, to him, the board, and it went on like that for a moment. I refused to speak again, so I started to scrawl on the white board.

**Why are you cutting paper? And why aren't you speaking?**

I handed the thing to him, and picked up a piece of paper. I toyed with the edges for a moment before sneaking the scissors from Jerome's lap and cutting the corners off.

Jerome took the scissors back (much to my disappointment) and handed me the board.

**I'm cutting paper because there's nothing better to do, and I'm just not going to talk.**

I just tapped at the board, unable to find the words to respond.

**Why won't you talk?**

I gave it back- it was beginning to get fun over here. I whipped out my MP3 player, blasting different songs. I didn't have to listen to anything else, because Jerome and I weren't actually saying words from our _mouths_, and nobody would disturb us.

Jerome tapped on my knee. I was sitting crisscross-applesauce on his bed, looking at my music player. He handed me the board and a pair of scissors.

**I just don't want to. I'm not in the mood, and I honestly don't think I'll be in the mood for a while. So just let it go. And take a paper and these scissors, we can just cut the paper. It's relieving, actually.**

I just nodded and snipped the paper in my hands. I didn't bother responding, I know when not to talk- most of the time. But I knew well enough not to speak in this situation.

Cutting the paper was actually very relieving. It let my express my pent-up frustration about these past few weeks. It let me cut up all of my fears. All of my stress. All of my anger. Anger towards the evil being that gave Trudy cancer. Anger towards the selfish people in the house. Anger towards my own selfishness.

Anger towards all the fighting.

Behind the sound of Creed's "With Arms Wide Open", I could hear stomping and yelling. Jerome and I made eye contact for a split-second before hopping off the bed and opening the bedroom door.

Fabian was holding Nina back from attacking Alfie. Jerome ran to him questioningly. "I dunno, mate. I just made a comment, and Nina just got really peeved off..." He seemed legit scared out of his boots._ Poor Alfie!_

I walked over to Neens, getting ready to speak. I knew that my voice would hurt, but I took the chance anyway. "What did he say?" I was worried. I love Alfie to pieces, but sometimes his word-choice isn't ideal...

Nina spoke through clenched teeth. "We wer-were all in the kitchen. No- none of us were hungry, but we were just talking in there. I wa-was just mumbling to Fabian about what kind of freaking ev- evil force would ever give Trudy ca-can-cancer. And Alfie started talking about frigging aliens. I couldn't take it any- anymore." Every few words, Nina's breath hitched and Fabian rubbed her back.

"What did he say about them?" I asked, on the fence. I mean, aliens were Alfie's thing. If there was an alien girl that walked in, he would propose to her like _that_. And Nina's never really liked Alfie all that much. He can be hard to handle at times, but Nina can over-react a teeny-tiny bit.

"Go ask him. I don't give a flying freak anymore." Nina said, quietly.

I spun to where Alfie was, "Don't kill me!" Alfie cringed behind Jerome. He was probably convinced that after talking to Nina, I would hate him.

"I'm not going to kill you. What did you say, though?" I asked quietly, my voice was still painfully dry.

"She asked: 'What evil thing would possibly give such a great person like Trudy... the... um... 'the thing that I don't want to say'?'" I was getting more upset over each word. Not because of what _Alfie said_, per se, but because this whole day was making me upset. I just wanted to go into my room and cry and sleep. For a trillion years. "I responded by mumbling 'I bet it's the aliens, I always hated them,' and she flipped out on me! She _knows_ I hate aliens. Can't she accept what I believe in? I mean, I love Nina, but she girl always has to hate on me. And aliens. She just doesn't get it." Alfie sighed and then shouted to Nina, "It's frustrating!"

"Good!" Nina shouted from Fabian's restraining arms.

"Stop fighting! We don't even know if she has anything wrong with her! Just shut _up_ already, guys! Yelling at each other isn't a good way to relieve stress! Okay? We have to stick together, don't you idiots understand that? Stop fighting because I'm _sick of it_!" Patricia screamed at us from the doorway to the kitchen. Her face was very red. Whether it be from crying, frustration or anger, I was unsure, but she was definitely angry and not afraid to express it.

We all shut up after that. We didn't know what to say. We didn't move. We didn't talk. We just stood.

At one point, Patricia and Joy walked up to their room. Nina followed, disconnecting from Fabian. The clock had only rung 5:00, and they couldn't be going to bed already. I just followed, leaving with Mara. We clenched hands on the way upstairs, afraid to let go.

The girls had all gathered in mine and Nina's room, sitting in a circle on the carpet. Mara and I joined the circle, sitting in between the small gaps. We didn't speak for a while, but just sat straight and looked at each other. It was relaxing, but not as relieving as cutting the paper with Jerome. Sitting in the silence forced me to think.

I don't want to think.

Especially now.

I was almost ready to cry again. My mind kept wandering to Trudy and her illness. Then my mind wandered to everything else that's gone wrong since break. And even before that. And I felt a droplet of water fall to my jeans. So stood up and walked out of there. I didn't speak, or excuse myself like I would have if I wasn't this upset, but I _was_ upset.

I walked own the stairs, looking at every fragment in the design of the wallpaper, noticing every crevice in the hand-railing. It put something in my mind to think about. At the bottom, I saw the clock strike 5:45 which was usually our dinner time. The boys came out of their rooms, and the girls tumbled down the stairs silently to the dinner table.

We had spaghetti. _Oh spaghetti. I love the spaghetti memories._

Trudy sat down with us with a big smile. The grin quickly faded when nobody spoke a word. Nobody had spoken in almost and hour, and it was beginning to get to my head. And it was making me just that much more upset.

It also did a little number on Trudy, "Okay, sweeties. Under normal circumstances, it probably wouldn't have come to this. But right now, I want Alfie to dump your spaghetti all over Jerome. Patricia, fling spaghetti on Nina. And so on." She stood up with a wink and hid behind the swinging kitchen door.

We looked at each other for a moment. Patricia stood up, tucked in her chair, and despite their truce, she dumped her spaghetti _down_ Nina's _shirt_. I gasped, covering my mouth with my right hand. It didn't take long to create a reaction among us. Alfie and Jerome were picking up handfuls of pasta and stuffing each other's faces, unable to contain their laughter. Nina splashed Fabian with water and stood up to kiss him on the cheek. Mick took this opportunity to scrub Jerome's hair with spaghetti.

Jerome wasn't too happy about that. He didn't do anything too rash at that moment, but I'm sure the prankster wheels in his mind were spinning out of control.

I laughed, which earned a blob of pasta sauce to my face. I ran up to Joy and Patricia, two of the only people who hadn't been attacked. I took two plates of spaghetti (mine and Fabian's) and flipped it on top of their heads.

At this point, the house was in an all-out war. We were all laughing and covered in spaghetti sauce.

_I **really** need a shower, now. _

When we were all covered and tired, we picked up the spaghetti off of us and put it all on our plates. I shared a look with Nina, and then Jerome and then the remainder of the table had the same idea.

We picked up big handfuls of the noodles, and wandered into the kitchen. Trudy was making desert (ice cream sundaes) and her back was away from us. "Hiya, Trudy!" I peeped out. She spun around with a smile, until the entire house attacked her with sauce and spaghetti noodles. As the area around Trudy cleared silently, We could see her laughing, which only made us laugh harder.

She gave us spoons to eat the sundaes, and we spent the rest of that night on the kitchen floor, chatting and having fun.

Like old times. Only _everyone _was here. And everyone was having fun.

* * *

><p>It was Friday. We had gone back to school by Wednesday and the week had gone by pretty quickly. After Tuesday night, we'd spent every waking moment together. Sometimes hanging out in the common room until Victor's pin-drop speech, sometimes in one of our rooms, sometimes in the kitchen, everywhere. Today, however, was <em>dreadfully <em>and _painfully_ droning on and _on._

Trudy went to the doctor this morning.

She was getting her test results back.

I was sitting alone again, but I didn't care as much. Right now, in French, all I could think about was Trudy. Not the house, and not the drama. _Definitely_ not French. Just Trudy.

When the bell rang, Anubis house ran out the door as quickly as possible, and made our way around the corner and over the hill to the house. I was taking heavy, deep breaths to prevent myself from exploding in anticipation. When we could see over the hill, we ran straight to the house to see if Trudy had come back yet.

When Mick (the fastest of us all) reached the door first. Victor opened up before Mick could.

_How does he always **do **that?_

I just ran up to the doorstep next to him. "Trudy hasn't arrived yet. Feel free to wait for her in the common room." Victor walked back up the stairs, tagging something at the end as he did with his usual lectures, "Do not disturb me unless there is a dire emergency," and closed his office door.

We all sat on each of the couches, defeated. We'd have to wait for who knows _how_ long for Trudy to come back, and I was _exceptionally _impatient today. To a point where I couldn't stop looking out the window. I opened the curtain and sat parallel to the window so I could see out perfectly. Everyone in the room just sat down and waited for Trudy to arrive.

I looked from the window to my phone, tapping the side. Then back to the window, back and forth like that impatiently for a while. After a minute or two (which seemed like a few hours), I refused to take it anymore. "What's _taking_ Trudy so long! We've been sitting here for _hours_!" I cried out, taking the house from their trances.

"Just relax, Amber. They're just taking extra time. There shouldn't be a problem." Fabian suggested from across the room. Nina was hyperventilating beside him.

"So does that mean there's something wrong? Does it mean it's bad? Does it mean-" I gasped, panicking next to Alfie.

"It doesn't mean _anything_, Amber. It means that they've either been talking a lot, or that they had a delay, or that there was traffic. Nothing more than that. Nothing less." Fabian quieted me down for a while.

I sat and thought for a moment, and pretty soon my train of thought came out of my mouth like my voice-box was covered in... like, train tracks or something. "She's fine. She doesn't have anything. She doesn't have cancer. Trudy can't have cancer. She can't... That's how Mummy died, and that's how Nana got sick. And... and..." I was quietly sobbing into my hands, now. The involuntary shudders startled me, and I wanted to explode right there. I didn't know why I was thinking so horridly right then. I was just feeling absolutely wretched.

Nina, Joy and Mara came over to comfort me. "It's okay, Ambs. It is." It was Nina, she spoke while patting my shoulder. "Gran's doctors thought she had breast cancer, but she didn't... everything will go fine."

"Yes, but what if she _does?_ What happens if she does? Trudy is like my mum, now. I can't lose her too." I whispered through my tears, but it just hurt my throat and voice.

"She's here!" Patricia jumped and we all heard the sound of the engine roaring through the silence of the common room.

I had just started to calm down before Patricia spoke. I was taking deep breaths, focusing on the ceiling design, ignoring the pure, un-diluted pain that stabbed through my heart. I bounced up before Trixie even completed her sentence.

In a whirlwind of emotions, I was excited that Trudy was here, ecstatic that we would have some answers, upset because I was afraid of the answer, and pain because of my Mum, and Nana, and Nina's Gran, and everyone who had to put up with all of this cancer crap.

Cancer needs to go away forever. Because then nobody will die from it anymore. And nobody will get sick from it anymore. And everybody would be happy, and I could go back to living life with happiness and friends and _Trudy_. With her and everyone being healthy. And cancer would be nothing more than a star sign. A constellation of a crab, and not something that rips people's hearts, hopes and dreams out.

And we could live happily ever after.

But when Trudy walked in, I saw the look in her eyes. She was tired. And she was upset. And there was something wrong. And she'd been crying. And my heart plummeted, my hopes were demolished, and my dreams, well... they didn't come true.

I was in _agony_ because I knew before she had to tell us. I knew it and hearing it didn't make anything better. It made me feel worse, and it made everything feel real now.

It was real, and it was happening, and it was... it was _happening._

I could only run up to my room and stare at the ceiling. I put my MP3 on full volume. I scrolled through the entire playlist more than enough times. I couldn't find a good enough song to think along with. Alibis was about myself and how I feel about accomplishments (or lack-thereof). Meant to Live wasn't... good enough right now. I put it on shuffle purely for the fun of it.

Show Me What I'm Looking For by Carolina Liar.

_Perfect._

I didn't know why it was perfect. I've never been religious, nor have I had the desire to be religious. I was just an un-religious person. People could respect that right?

I didn't know what had drawn me to the song in the first place- let alone right at this moment of pain and dread. I liked the message- it didn't matter what it was about, or anything. But the words could make me smile wider, and cry harder in one round of listening.

All too soon it was over. And it switched to some pop song that I had enjoyed originally (for some reason).

So, I guess I just sat there all Friday long. I just sat and cried and waited until I knew Trudy was better. Because she would get better, she _would_. I had promised myself that.

She'd get better.

_I know so._

* * *

><p>I was standing outside.<p>

In the pouring rain.

Crying my eyes out.

The pressure that I was under- emotionally and physically- weighed me down to my knees. I was on the ground now, shaking in violent shudders of pure pain of the heart. Was there a name for this kind of pain? Maybe then, I could get into the hospital and see Trudy before she goes into surgery.

_Surgery._

I was never Mara, but I always cared about things, and attempted to fix things that I was passionate about. This was something I was passionate about- Trudy. And I couldn't do anything to _fix_ it. I couldn't talk my way in or out of it. I couldn't just buy if off. It was actually _happening_. And when I haven't had to lift a finger my entire life, that _sucks._

I was alone now, too. Excusing myself in tears from Drama class. I made it until the very _last_ class of the day, too. I couldn't stare at Mr. Winkler and smile. I couldn't go to my happy place- because I wasn't in a mood to do it. I was in a crying mood- and I don't even _care _that my skirt is all wet. Because I lied down on my back, and put my feet up on the bench. I closed my eyes.

Maybe I was used to the silence of being alone. Maybe _too_ used to it.

Maybe I was used to the sound of the rain hitting an individual blades of grass. Maybe I _loved_ hearing it.

Little peaceful splashes against the silent night. Perfect music to listen to when you just want to _think_. Or be _alone._

Too bad I didn't want to be alone- or to think. It wasn't really my best remedy of choice. What I wanted was to _talk_. Too bad the only one who would listen is the wind. Maybe the rain. Probably the grass. My hands?

"Amber!" I heard Nina's voice through all the rain. Too tired to answer, I just raised my arm to say that I knew they were there. Finally. "Amber, are you okay?" Nina continued, "You ran out of class, and we didn't know where you went. We were looking for about 10 minutes! Are you okay Amber?" She knelt down and wiped my soaking hair out of my face.

_She's such a mother to me._

I sniffled, refusing to use my energy to sit up. "I'm a wreck."

"I know, Amber-" Fabian started, attempting to make me feel better- fail.

"Thanks Fabian, thanks a lot." I sniffled some more, refusing more tears to come out.

"No, Amber, I didn't mean it like that. I mean... we all are, okay? We all are." He rubbed my hand, trying to reassure me.

"Yeah, Amber. We all care. We do." Mara continued, sitting on the bench next to my feet.

"It's not _fair,_ though. We can't even _see_ her for two days because of the surgery. I _hate_ surgery," I whispered, out of breath. Out of tears.

"Yes we can, Amber. We can visit her in the hospital after school! It'll be done by then. Right after classes we can march down to the hospital and visit her. I promise." Mick sat on my other side grabbing my other hand and rubbing the back of it.

"Really?" He can really lift a girl's spirits.

"Of course!" Alfie continued, smiling wider than ever, and sitting beside Mara on the bench.

"You guys are the best..." I whispered.

"I know." I had to stifle a giggle. Without looking, I could tell it was Jerome and Patricia at the same time, which made me want to laugh harder. "I love you guys. I know that you were all like... in pairs or whatever, and I wasn't really included in the past few months, but I really do love you guys. You're my best friends, and..."

"Oh Amber, you guys are all my best friends too. Even you, Nina," Joy spoke up, sitting down on the rail of the bench. "I'm sorry for being away for for months, and then getting back only to exclude you... I'm sorry..." I sat up, reaching my arms out to hug Joy, who was now crying.

"I am too, Amber. I've been around Fabian so much, I've like... dropped my friends. Sorry..." Nina played with my hair, and I smiled at her.

"It's good we're all together now, though. There's nothing I love more than my friends and family. And you guys are the best friends anyone could ever ask for. I just wish... Trudy wasn't in the hospital, ya know?" Patricia spoke up, sitting next to my legs, opposite side than Mara. "But we can see her right if we get out of school. Only a few miles down the road."

All of a sudden, my heart kind of... opened. The sky kind of... cleared. The pressure on me... lifted. The pain in my chest... stopped squeezing. The tears in my eyes... left. The friends around me... were _here_. And I couldn't be more happy. I stood up and sat on the bench my friends were on.

And I was... happy.

Sitting there for a while with my _friends_ smiling, being actually _happy_. It was nice. It was something I hadn't experienced before, and I liked it. I as happy, because my _friends_ reassured me that everything would be fine. And I think it would be.

We heard a bell ring after a few moments. And I smiled, grabbing Mara's and Patricia's hands. Without a word, we all just stood up- holding hands- and walked down the road to the hospital.

We walked all the way there. And that was a long way. Like... a long way. It felt like_ hours_, but when Nina checked her watch, it had only been a 45 minutes. And we were finally here. Facing the building that held one of my _best_ friends, and maybe a million other people. The red rock and silver stone bricks were on every square inch of the structure, making it look polka-dottey. I sniffled and lead the rest of us inside.

"Westminster Hospital, how are you doing today?" A red-headed lady in her 20's greeted us with care. I as too anxious to notice, though.

"We're fine, is there a Trudy Rehmann here?" Jerome asked quickly.

"Uh... yes, yes there is. She got out of surgery about an hour and a half ago. You guys may go and visit her. But I may ask, that if she's asleep, that you leave her be. She's in room 4-23" The woman continued with a smile.

"Yeah, cool, whatever, thanks." Jerome tapped on the desk and ran to the elevators. He grabbed Mara's hand. She grabbed Mick's, and he took mine. I held on to Nina, who obviously held Fabian's hand. So on and so forth, we were like 2nd graders in a museum, holding hands in a single file line.

We stuffed ourselves into the elevator- thank goodness nobody else joined us. We pressed the 4-button and went up, shaking. When we got out, I could almost laugh at everyone's faces- which was weird.

_Why am I able to be this... **happy**?_

Jerome knocked on door 4-23 and barged in without a response. Dragging the rest of us, he ran inside obviously impatient. I turned to see Trudy, who wasn't sleeping, but reading a magazine. I smiled wider.

"Hey Trudy!" Everyone sang, in chorus.

"Hello lovelys! How are you?"

"How are _you_?" Alfie asked, running up to the foot of Trudy's bed.

"Well... I'm great, actually. They think they got everything."

In that moment, time seemed to stop. I sat down next to Trudy's bed, grabbed her hand, and time stopped. I was so involved with thinking. About this- about everything. Because we were all happy now. They think they got it all, and we wouldn't have to take on so much.

I looked around at my friends. We were all different, obviously. But we were all... there for each other. We couldn't hold our grudges, we couldn't stay upset for long, we were all just happy now. We were together, and I noticed something.

We _changed_. Some of us matured. Some of us just... changed. Nina's more patient, Mick is less... involved with himself, Fabian is less shy, Joy is happier, Jerome is more caring and considerate, and we're _changed._ We're _different_ now.

I think I've matured too. I stopped crying about pointless things. I've been more grateful for what the world has given me. And I'm actually_ thankful_. Thankful for my friends- my _family_ being there for me. I remembered what my friend Mia told me, when we were little girls in my mansion.

_Cancer, no matter how diffecult, is just a word. And, no matter how much it hurt me, I KNOW she doesn't want me to be sad. Life is hard. But sometimes, you just need to Not at the world, but TO the world. Showing that you can be stronger and more powerful then the world. That YOU can take on anything, no matter what the heck happens. Its okay to cry too. But you (and I and the world) just need to look at what the world has given us. Laugh. Laugh at the world. And show it, that you can defeat it. _

It's weird, because looking at my friends, I noticed one last thing. We didn't cry over spilled milk anymore. We didn't get upset when we couldn't have the fanciest of dinners. When we had piles of homework. When we weren't getting along. When we couldn't go out. When we were tired.

We've grown.

Each and every one of us.

Joy, Patricia, Alfie, Jerome, Mara, Mick, Nina, Fabian, Trudy, Victor and I.

We were stronger.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you again to Whispering Memories- who helped me beta my work. I'm sorry for all of the dashes xP. Also, thank you to MiaAndOak for letting me use her quote in my story. That quote made me cry, Mia. You're awesome =). Also, good luck to allyouneedislove1797 and her mother for being strong, brave and amazing =).<strong>

**Please review, I feel like I need feedback on this. It's just a one shot, and I like it that way, so I don't think I'll be continuing, but I really would appreciate feedback, thank you!**

**With love,**

**~Bubbles**


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